Wisdom Breeds Sexual Integrity

Advertising firms say it all the time: "Sex Sells". We're surrounded by it. There is no place, with the possible exception of a monastery, where you won't be in contact with an image of a scantily clad woman or some other inappropriate image to assault you. For many men, it's as difficult an addiction to break as smoking, drinking, or drugs. At the end of this article I'm going to step away from my normal routine and post some good links and resources for the men out there struggling with impure thoughts, pornography, or other sorts of sexual immorality.

Proverbs 2:16-17 tells us that the wisdom of God will save us from the adulteress, and Proverbs 2:18-19 warns us of the dangers of falling into the trap of adultery. Many men have this idea that they can look, but not touch. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, however, that just looking at a woman lustfully is adultery. Exodus 20:14 says very simply and plainly, "You shall not commit adultery."

It's an easy thing to make excuses for: "it's natural". Man is born naturally to commit sin, we have been born into a sin nature. God has redeemed us from our sin through the death of Jesus Christ that we might have freedom from the nature of sin if we will commit our lives fully into His hands and allow Him to renew our minds. To continue to willfully commit sin after accepting the salvation freely given to us is to trample on the blood of Jesus Christ, placing that sin higher in importance than God. Romans 6:1-7 tells us we have died to sin in the death of Jesus Christ and have been raised up with Him a new creature through baptism.

It is only through the working of the Holy Spirit that our hearts can be changed and that we will have a new way of thinking. For some, it's a long, slow road to recovery, while others have an instantaneous change in their heart. Every man I have known who has struggled with pornography and sexual immorality has also struggled with guilt, shame, and fear over their tendencies, and almost every man I've known has had at least some issue with it, you aren't alone. However, God doesn't intend for us to live in fear of being caught, in shame of our actions, or with guilt over our pasts. God will forgive us and free us from the chains that bind us.

If you or a friend is struggling with sexual impurity, or if you aren't, but would like to learn more and understand why most men have such a difficult time with it, here is a list of resources:

1. Pure Eyes
   • This is a book by Craig Gross (founder: XXXChurch.com) and Steven Luff; Foreword by Stephen Afterburn (author: Every Man's Battle).
   • It's a great book, and has a massive amount of great information about why men are drawn to pornography, how it affects our relationship with God, how it affects our lives, and how with God's help we can take control over it.
2. Every Man's Battle
   • This a book by Stephen Afterburn and Fred Stoker.
   • I've known of several men who have read and absolutely loved this book. It's recommended by several Christian counselors as suggested reading for men struggling with sexual impurity.
3. For Men Only
   • This book is by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and they have a full series of wonderful books for women, men, teens, parents, etc.
   • This book goes into great detail in helping men understand why women are so upset about our male tendencies, but also contains a very good chapter on sexual impurity. I would recommend that every man read this at least once.
4. XXXChurch.com
   • This is a web site founded by Craig Gross.
   • The XXXChurch offers workshops, forums, local events, and other helpful things for men with impure sexual addictions. They take a very open and forward approach to discussing and dealing with the issues.
5. Your Pastor
   • Believe it or not, this guy can probably handle knowing that you have a problem with impure sexual behavior. Chances are high that he already has a pretty good idea anyway. He'll have the time to sit down and work out the issues with you and help you to be accountable and give you spiritual guidance and prayer. For more ideas of people you can and should talk to, see: Buddy System

Friendly Wisdom

Do you listen when God speaks to you? You may say, ...but God doesn't speak to me." God speaks to those who are willing to hear His voice. Last week we read in Proverbs 2:1-2 about listening to the voice of wisdom, seeking it as a treasure. Proverbs 2:10 carries on this message about seeking wisdom. It says you will find wisdom, and knowledge will be pleasant to you. This parallels Matthew 7:7 as well as Luke 11:9, where they both say "seek and you will find".

The next verse, Proverbs 2:11, gives the basic result of this wisdom and knowledge. With wisdom comes discretion; with knowledge comes understanding. Could a man without wisdom know when to be discreet, or a man without knowledge understand even the most simple of things?

Next, we are given two sets of examples of this discretion and understanding. We're only going to look at the first one this week, and come back to the second one next Friday. Proverbs 2:12-15 talks about wicked men that wisdom will save us from. Proverbs 2:16-19 tells us about wicked women that wisdom will save us from.

If we're claim to be saved from wicked men by the wisdom and knowledge that comes from seeking God, how can we defend having close friends fitting the description of wicked men in Proverbs 2:12-15? Likewise, if we're close friends with other men fitting that description, how likely are we to spend time earnestly praying and seeking God? We often say things like "don't judge me by the people I hang out with", but truly, the people we hang out with shows a lot about our own character.

Let us learn and strive to seek out other Godly men as our closest friends. We don't need wicked friends drawing us into things we wouldn't otherwise be involved in. The wisdom of God makes all the difference in discerning who are truly friends worthy of our friendship, and friends that are not.

Treasure Hunting

I've seen many times on the beach men walking along with metal detectors for hours up and down the beach. I've never seen one of them find anything of value, yet they persistently walk in unique patterns trying to cover every square inch of the ground. On occasion, the detector will give a beep, and the treasure hunter will excitedly drop to his knees and dig up some small metal object from the sand. Disappointedly, they reveal a pop tab or some other refuse left on the beach by some person too lazy to take it to the trash bin.

Proverbs 2:1-5 gives us a spiritual parallel to this search for treasure: a search for wisdom. Proverbs 2:4-5 says that if we look for it as silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, we will be rewarded with finding the true treasure of understanding and knowledge. What greater thing could we seek? What other thing could we search for with a guarantee that we will find what we're looking for and not be disappointed.

Proverbs 2:6-9 says that God gives wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. He grants those who seek Him victory and protection. Let us all seek the wisdom that comes from God. Let us all look for His wisdom in the same manner that those treasure hunters on the beach look for their earthly treasure: with enthusiasm and resolve. We know that we will find what we're looking for, unlike the beach treasure hunter, we should have even more enthusiasm than they do!

A Rewarding Response

How often have we responded poorly when we've gotten in trouble, and ended up in more trouble than we started out in? I know as children we've all done it. I've seen lots of adults do it as well, when they've gotten in trouble at work or in some sort of family trouble. Proverbs 1:23 tells us that if we have the proper response to God, even when He rebukes us, He will bless us.

Proverbs 1:24-27 tells us though that if we reject and ignore God, that God will mock us as our calamity that we have brought forth upon ourselves through the rejection of His wisdom overtakes us. The Bible goes on to say in Proverbs 1:28-31 that those who have rejected God will then begin to look for him and won't be able to find Him; that their only satisfaction will be that of the foolishness which has separated them from the love of their Creator.

Finally, Proverbs 1:32 outlines where those who rejected God have gone astray: the waywardness of the simple, and the complacency of fools. Simply sitting around doing nothing, or following those who have no clue where they're going has separated them from God. Proverbs 1:33 though gives us the solution to this problem: listen to God.

Will you listen to God, or will you separate yourself from Him through foolishness and the folly of man? It's as simple as listening to Him, and there's no time like the present. Our listening to God will be rewarded by Him. Is that the response we will have to Him?

The Call of Wisdom

Have you ever though about the fact that everywhere you look there's something new to learn? We have an old saying: "You learn something new every day." Proverbs 1:20-22 says that wisdom calls to you from everywhere, and only fools don't listen. The things of God literally scream at you in the streets.

Romans 1:20 says the God can be seen through all creation. As we come into 2011, I hope that each of you will be careful to see God in all things. This is one of my own New Year's Resolutions, to carefully examine things and try to see the glory of God in them.

Happy New Year!

The Way of the Thief

Proverbs 1:10 gives one of the most generalized and greatest pieces of information any person could give another: resist sinful temptation and peer pressure. Acts 2:40 gives a similar message. In Proverbs 1:11-14 we see a very short description of someone tempting another with ill-gotten gain. Jesus gives a similar narrative in Luke 10:27-37, citing that we should love our neighbor as ourselves, and demonstrating that anyone you meet qualifies as your neighbor.

Then Proverbs 1:15-16 goes on to say that we shouldn't even associate ourselves with these people. They are dangerous, and they will as quickly turn on you for their gain as they have turned you on others. An interesting example then is used in Proverbs 1:17-18, "How useless to spread a net in full view of all the birds!" These men have been warned openly of the penalty for their ways, yet they continue to be snared by their desires. The net has been laid out in full view of them, and yet they run to the bait with no thought of self-restraint. "They waylay themselves!"

Finally, Proverbs 1:19 finishes saying that this is how all ill-gotten gain ends, with the loss of ones life. Now sure, many people get things by many unscrupulous ways and live to a ripe old age. The Bible says, "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). We cannot serve sin and have eternal life. We must steer clear of those who would tempt us into such a foolish trap, and thus cause us to lose all that is most important in life.

Following Directions

This is one all of us men have such a problem with, we've been permanently stereotyped with being unable to perform this one simple feat: following directions. We want to be independent, self-sufficient, and not responsible to anyone. Unfortunately now, even I must swallow my pride as I read Proverbs 1:7-9. "Fools despise wisdom and discipline" are some pretty strong words.

There are two parts to this passage, specifically Proverbs 1:8. As all of us have parents, all of us should listen to our father's instruction and our mother's teaching. There is no cut-off on this; it is until we or they cease to live. As long as they live, they will always have more experience and life lessons learned, and we owe it to them to listen to their advice. We don't always have to do what they say, but we do have to listen.

We find out what kind of father figure God is in Exodus 34:6-7: compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, loving thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. This is the love that He extends to His children. As fathers, this is the same love that we should show our children. However, the rest of Exodus 34:7 goes on to say that He does not leave the guilty unpunished. We are still responsible to ensure that our children understand that their actions will result in consequences: good rewards for good behavior, punishment for bad behavior.

Exodus 20:12 even further confirms this, when God added this as the fifth of the Ten Commandments, being the first of the commandments pertaining to how men should treat each other. The first four commandments are how men should treat God, the last six how men should treat one another. This is another pretty strong testament to the importance of it, and it's the only commandment given with any good promise for obedience. Whether we're eight or eighty, let's remember this important command, and listen to what our parents have to say; let's make sure that we provide wise instruction to the children who are listening to us.

Introduction To Proverbs

The Daily Man will be doing a Friday series on Proverbs. Every Friday, we will examine a portion of the book, and see what wisdom we can glean from it.

Proverbs 1:1 starts the book off with the signature of the author, Solomon. Solomon was the wisest king to have ever lived. 1 Kings 3:5-14 give us a brief overview of where the wisdom of Solomon came from. His wisdom came from seeking the face of God. 1 Kings 10:24 says that people came from all around to hear the wisdom of Solomon.

Proverbs 1:2-6 gives us an overview of all of the things we can gain from studying this single important book of the Bible. We can gain: wisdom, discipline, prudence, knowledge, discretion, guidance. It will help us: understand words of insight, do what is right, just, and fair, understand proverbs, parables, and the sayings and riddles of the wise. Can a greater and broader insight into so many things have ever been written?

The very beginning of this book tempts us with such learning that it's difficult not to continue reading, and if you want to you are certainly welcome to read ahead. We're going to be going step-by-step through the entire book, however long that may take, and there's no harm in being prepared for the next Friday's topic. It will be an exciting journey through some of the most revealing and relevant writings man has ever known.