Non-Committal

What kind of Christian are you? Are you fully committed to serving God, or do you just attend church. Are you living a Godly lifestyle, or do you have to dust off your Bible on Sunday morning? There was a king of Judah named Amaziah who had a problem with total commitment to God. 2 Chronicles 25:2 says "He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly."

He wasn't fully committed to serving God. He showed up for his religious ceremonies, but then took revenge for his father's death into his own hands (2 Chronicles 25:3). He listened to the man of God sometimes, as is shown in 2 Chronicle 25:7-10. But then on his return from that same battle, he brought back their idles and started worshiping them (2 Chronicles 25:14-15).

God won't honor a partial commitment to serve Him. Matthew 6:24 says you can't serve two masters. If there's sin in your life and you're covering it up and you won't commit that to God, you're serving your sin. If you don't have time for God any time of the day or night then you're not fully serving God.

We see in 2 Chronicles 25:27-28 that from the time he turned away following God, his people began to conspire against him so much that he ended up running for his life and being hunted down and killed. While you aren't likely today to be hunted and killed for your rejection of God, when those who look to you for an example see the sin that you harbor in your life, there will be disappointment, resentment, and anger just the same.

Turn your sin over to God and follow Him with your whole heart, so that your testimony can be better than that of Amaziah. If you turn your heart completely over to God, you can have the testimony, "He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord wholeheartedly." It will make a difference in your life that you will never regret.

The Buddy System: Healthy Listening

If someone comes up to you and suddenly begins telling you the story of how they've fallen into sin, what do you do? The first thing you need to do is examine what you can do. Luke 6:39 says that if the blind lead the blind, they'll both soon end up in the ditch. If you're struggling with the same thing that this person is confiding in you that they are struggling with, you very likely aren't qualified to help them. Mutually agree to pray for each other, and move on. An alcoholic should not hang out in bars or a drug addict with users. We are faced enough by our demons daily that we do not need the additional weight of another's confession to drag us further into the pit of our own despair. Rather, we should agree to pray for that person and then encourage them to seek another confidant who is able to guide and help them.

If we are qualified to guide this person seeking our confidence, we need to pay very close attention to the words of Romans 15:1-2, 7. Remember that Christ accepted us when we were not only addicted to the works of the flesh, but He accepted us before we even knew who He was. Romans 5:8 points out that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Accept that this person is openly acknowledging their need to confess their shortcomings to someone and receive guidance and prayer as James 5:16 instructs us all to do.

Don't belittle or mock the ones that would come to you for guidance and prayer. Don't put them down or try to make them feel inferior for their faults. This attitude is prideful and boastful, and is not in the spirit of Christ. Proverbs 16:18 warns us of our own destruction when we take an attitude of pride. 1 John 4:7-21 is the most amazing example of how we should treat our fellow man and how we should judge him. 1 John 4:15 says that if a man confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him. Knowing that God lives in the one who comes to us for guidance, how will we treat them?

Since God lives in us, and He lives in the one who has come to us for guidance, we know that God is already present in our conversation. He is watching us through the windows of our soul. How will we show His love? How will we keep His commandments? Matthew 18:18-20 says that if two bind anything on earth it will be bound by God, and if two release something on earth it is released by God.

Therefore, we ought to primarily pray together that the thing that troubles the one coming to us for guidance might be resolved. Whether that thing is an addiction needing bound, or a freedom needing loosed, if we agree on that thing, it will be done. We should search the Scriptures together in prayer, learning what God has to say about our troubles. We should give counsel in the spirit of 2 Timothy 2:15-16, 19, 23-26. Thank God that He guides us as is shown in Ephesians 6:18-20 to know what to say and when we need to say it.

The Buddy System: Healthy Sharing

Again beginning in James 5:16, we see that there is still much more to learn about this "confessing our sins one to another". The main thing to point out here in this post is that the Bible doesn't say "describe the circumstances that caused you to sin". There's no call or reason to define all of the circumstances surrounding a sin that you've committed, as it rarely does anyone any good at all to hear this, but more often causes someone else to stumble as well. 1 Corinthians 15:33 clearly defines this. We shouldn't be lifting up the thing that caused us to fall; we shouldn't exalt the very cause of our stumble. Rather, we should admit that we have fallen and exalt God for His forgiveness and ask for His healing.

This idea of healthy sharing is in the spirit of Ecclesiastes 4:8-12, in that, a person who is utterly alone has nobody to help him up but himself; if things get bad and he needs comfort or warmth, only he can provide that for himself. All the way from the very beginning of time, God has recognized in man the need of confiding in others. In the beginning of time, God walked with Adam in the Garden of Eden, but still thought that man needed the companionship of another human (Genesis 3:8, 2:18). In Genesis 2:18 God acknowledges that man needed someone to be with him, and so God made a woman for him. One of the best people to be able to confide in is your wife. If you cannot be honest with your wife, how can you be honest with God or even another man?

Certainly, another man may be able to better understand the things we're facing, our emotions, reactions, or behaviors. A man who has gone through what we're going through, or a man who has stared down our particular demon and came out victorious through the grace of God will better be able to guide us. We still need to be open and honest with those around us as well. Hiding something and lying about it are two of the primary things that keep us trapped in our sin, returning to it over and over again. Admitting our faults, coming clean with ourselves and another is the first step toward a new spiritual freedom.

The Buddy System: Be a Buddy

When we look at James 5:16, we have to look at the inverse implication of the verse as well. Obviously, in a church of even 100 people, the pastor will not be able to be everyone's "buddy". I haven't a doubt in my mind that this concept has occurred to him, and he will try to the bitter end to do so, but it isn't physically or emotionally possible. With just 100 people, a single person would have an average of 3 people call him every day with their problems. That's not including time to prepare sermons, visit the sick, and all the other things that the pastor does that you don't even realize he does.

So, it's also our responsibility to be that friend for someone else. We all NEED someone to talk to, to share our shortcomings and failures with. We need another man who understands and can help us, guide us, and pray with us. But once we reach a point where we're strong enough we need to be willing to BE that person for someone else. It isn't always easy or fun. Sometimes it quite plainly just stinks. But whether we like it or not, other people will at some point as we grow be looking at us as that person that they look up to as a man strong in the Lord.

When that someone reaches out to you for that guidance and that prayer, when someone reaches out to you and shares that failure, don't laugh at them, don't poke fun, and don't gossip. Accept them, accept their problem, and let them know that you care and understand what they're going through. Offer to pray with them. Proverbs 18:24 tells us that a man that has friends must also be friendly. If we expect someone else to guide us and pray with us, we should be equally as willing to do that for another man. Don't let them share to the point of dragging you down, and don't ask them to. You don't need to know the every detail of their failure.

If you don't know how to help someone who comes to you, there are lots of things that you can do. First and foremost, the single most important thing you can do is pray with them and for them. After that, if they want or need advice that you can't offer, refer them to someone you trust who you believe can, maybe even your buddy. If you refer them to your buddy, it's often helpful to explain to them that the person you're referring them to is the person that YOU go to when you have problems. Maybe you can introduce them to your buddy and have a group lunch or something. Don't turn them away though, whatever else you do. Make sure to show them the love and respect you would want if you were in their same situation.

The Buddy System: Find a Buddy

One of the biggest problems that I see in men these days is a complete lack of people they can talk to. I'm not talking about the poker buddies, or the guys you get together with to watch the game; I'm talking about someone you can sit down with and tell them honestly what's going on in your life. James 5:16 tells us that we need to be able to call on others when you're in trouble or when you've done wrong and that we'll be forgiven. Every man I know who is having serious issues in his life and has no hope at all of fixing them has plenty of friends and co-workers, and not a single person in whom they confide. Often, the men are so out of touch with everyone that even their own family and wife are excluded from any meaningful and truthful communication.

Now, I'm not saying you need to find some guy in your church and tell him how bad your life is, and that's not what the passage is saying either. We as men need someone that we can rely on though as an example, someone who has already experienced a lot of the things we're going through, and someone who can guide us in our walk with God in times of weakness. I have a friend that I've known for about 17 years, and now that we're both saved and going to church, he is my "buddy" in this respect. When I'm having a problem or dealing with a weakness in my life, I can call him up and talk to him about it.

When I call him up, the point isn't to describe in detail the problem, as that just drags your buddy down, and pretty soon both of you are stuck in the mud. All that needs said is "Hey, I've got this problem" and just let the buddy know what the problem is. Then ask them to pray with you about it, and keep you in their prayers. When I'm dealing with an addictive problem or something that requires a little more vigilance, I can have my buddy check up on me. I don't want him to put me down, just make sure I'm sticking with whatever it is, and help pick me up if I've started to fall.

As a New Year's resolution, I would encourage each of you to find a buddy. Find someone in your church or a friend that you have enough confidence in to share your shortcomings with. If you can't find anyone, you probably aren't looking very hard; man up and go talk to somebody. If you can't find anyone else, your pastors or Sunday School teachers would likely be happy to help you out. Church deacons and board members are good choices, too. Pick someone you view as strong in the Lord, and just talk to them. This is very important in being a man of integrity. Don't fail!

Saved!

Today, as I was driving home, I spotted a car on the side of the road with the hood up, the standard symbol of “my car isn’t running”, and I decided to stop and offer a hand. I did all that my limited knowledge allowed, offered all the advice i could, asked if I could offer any further assistance, and then when there was nothing more I could do for her, I went on to my house.

Are you “broke down?” The Bible says in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Every one of us has been broken down spiritually. And like a car with a broken thermostat, if we go down the road ignoring the problem, we will ultimately be far worse, and often irreparable damage will be done. Romans 6:23 tells us that the payment for our sin is death, but that debt is paid through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:8 explains why the blood is important; because, despite our sins, Jesus died for us in a demonstration of God’s love. Jesus was crucified and died so that we could be forgiven. He’s stopped on the side of the road to give us a hand. But how do we let Him help us? Romans 10:9 says that the one and only thing we can do is acknowledge that Jesus died for our sins, believe that God raised Him from the dead, and then confess (declare) that Jesus is now the Master (Lord) of our life.

Romans 5:1 tells us that because of our belief, we are no longer at war with God, because now our Master gives us peace with Him. Jesus started this intercession for us with God as he was hanging crucified on the cross, when he said in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

If you haven’t done so already, I can tell you that turning your life over into the hands of Jesus is the single best thing you can ever do. All you have to do is just believe that Jesus died for your sins, and was raised from the dead by God, and then just talk to Jesus like you would talk to a friend. Tell Him that He is the Master of your life. Admit that you’re a sinner, and that you need forgiveness. Just like the lady on the side of the road, we have to get out of the car, admit we have a problem, and then let the One who stopped to help us take care of it. If we just take that step of faith, He will help us with everything else.