Friendly Wisdom

Do you listen when God speaks to you? You may say, ...but God doesn't speak to me." God speaks to those who are willing to hear His voice. Last week we read in Proverbs 2:1-2 about listening to the voice of wisdom, seeking it as a treasure. Proverbs 2:10 carries on this message about seeking wisdom. It says you will find wisdom, and knowledge will be pleasant to you. This parallels Matthew 7:7 as well as Luke 11:9, where they both say "seek and you will find".

The next verse, Proverbs 2:11, gives the basic result of this wisdom and knowledge. With wisdom comes discretion; with knowledge comes understanding. Could a man without wisdom know when to be discreet, or a man without knowledge understand even the most simple of things?

Next, we are given two sets of examples of this discretion and understanding. We're only going to look at the first one this week, and come back to the second one next Friday. Proverbs 2:12-15 talks about wicked men that wisdom will save us from. Proverbs 2:16-19 tells us about wicked women that wisdom will save us from.

If we're claim to be saved from wicked men by the wisdom and knowledge that comes from seeking God, how can we defend having close friends fitting the description of wicked men in Proverbs 2:12-15? Likewise, if we're close friends with other men fitting that description, how likely are we to spend time earnestly praying and seeking God? We often say things like "don't judge me by the people I hang out with", but truly, the people we hang out with shows a lot about our own character.

Let us learn and strive to seek out other Godly men as our closest friends. We don't need wicked friends drawing us into things we wouldn't otherwise be involved in. The wisdom of God makes all the difference in discerning who are truly friends worthy of our friendship, and friends that are not.

Wise Counsel

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This may sound like an infomercial, but it turns out this is a real problem for a lot of men. Too often they let pride get in the way and don't ask for help. The older I get the more I find that if a decision can affect me very much at all, then it's worth taking to God and a small group of people that I feel are wise. Proverbs 15:22 makes it clear that wise counsel is important to any plans. When you really think about it why would you make those decisions alone? You have the wisdom of God to help you.

The flip-side of this coin is that if you never USE your wise counsel it's pointless to ask them for advice. If you seek wise counsel every time something comes up and don't listen to the wise counsel, you've wasted their time. Proverbs 12:15 says "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." So the next time you ask for advice, ensure the people you ask are truly wise, and then follow it.

The Buddy System: Healthy Listening

If someone comes up to you and suddenly begins telling you the story of how they've fallen into sin, what do you do? The first thing you need to do is examine what you can do. Luke 6:39 says that if the blind lead the blind, they'll both soon end up in the ditch. If you're struggling with the same thing that this person is confiding in you that they are struggling with, you very likely aren't qualified to help them. Mutually agree to pray for each other, and move on. An alcoholic should not hang out in bars or a drug addict with users. We are faced enough by our demons daily that we do not need the additional weight of another's confession to drag us further into the pit of our own despair. Rather, we should agree to pray for that person and then encourage them to seek another confidant who is able to guide and help them.

If we are qualified to guide this person seeking our confidence, we need to pay very close attention to the words of Romans 15:1-2, 7. Remember that Christ accepted us when we were not only addicted to the works of the flesh, but He accepted us before we even knew who He was. Romans 5:8 points out that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Accept that this person is openly acknowledging their need to confess their shortcomings to someone and receive guidance and prayer as James 5:16 instructs us all to do.

Don't belittle or mock the ones that would come to you for guidance and prayer. Don't put them down or try to make them feel inferior for their faults. This attitude is prideful and boastful, and is not in the spirit of Christ. Proverbs 16:18 warns us of our own destruction when we take an attitude of pride. 1 John 4:7-21 is the most amazing example of how we should treat our fellow man and how we should judge him. 1 John 4:15 says that if a man confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him. Knowing that God lives in the one who comes to us for guidance, how will we treat them?

Since God lives in us, and He lives in the one who has come to us for guidance, we know that God is already present in our conversation. He is watching us through the windows of our soul. How will we show His love? How will we keep His commandments? Matthew 18:18-20 says that if two bind anything on earth it will be bound by God, and if two release something on earth it is released by God.

Therefore, we ought to primarily pray together that the thing that troubles the one coming to us for guidance might be resolved. Whether that thing is an addiction needing bound, or a freedom needing loosed, if we agree on that thing, it will be done. We should search the Scriptures together in prayer, learning what God has to say about our troubles. We should give counsel in the spirit of 2 Timothy 2:15-16, 19, 23-26. Thank God that He guides us as is shown in Ephesians 6:18-20 to know what to say and when we need to say it.

The Buddy System: Healthy Sharing

Again beginning in James 5:16, we see that there is still much more to learn about this "confessing our sins one to another". The main thing to point out here in this post is that the Bible doesn't say "describe the circumstances that caused you to sin". There's no call or reason to define all of the circumstances surrounding a sin that you've committed, as it rarely does anyone any good at all to hear this, but more often causes someone else to stumble as well. 1 Corinthians 15:33 clearly defines this. We shouldn't be lifting up the thing that caused us to fall; we shouldn't exalt the very cause of our stumble. Rather, we should admit that we have fallen and exalt God for His forgiveness and ask for His healing.

This idea of healthy sharing is in the spirit of Ecclesiastes 4:8-12, in that, a person who is utterly alone has nobody to help him up but himself; if things get bad and he needs comfort or warmth, only he can provide that for himself. All the way from the very beginning of time, God has recognized in man the need of confiding in others. In the beginning of time, God walked with Adam in the Garden of Eden, but still thought that man needed the companionship of another human (Genesis 3:8, 2:18). In Genesis 2:18 God acknowledges that man needed someone to be with him, and so God made a woman for him. One of the best people to be able to confide in is your wife. If you cannot be honest with your wife, how can you be honest with God or even another man?

Certainly, another man may be able to better understand the things we're facing, our emotions, reactions, or behaviors. A man who has gone through what we're going through, or a man who has stared down our particular demon and came out victorious through the grace of God will better be able to guide us. We still need to be open and honest with those around us as well. Hiding something and lying about it are two of the primary things that keep us trapped in our sin, returning to it over and over again. Admitting our faults, coming clean with ourselves and another is the first step toward a new spiritual freedom.

The Buddy System: Be a Buddy

When we look at James 5:16, we have to look at the inverse implication of the verse as well. Obviously, in a church of even 100 people, the pastor will not be able to be everyone's "buddy". I haven't a doubt in my mind that this concept has occurred to him, and he will try to the bitter end to do so, but it isn't physically or emotionally possible. With just 100 people, a single person would have an average of 3 people call him every day with their problems. That's not including time to prepare sermons, visit the sick, and all the other things that the pastor does that you don't even realize he does.

So, it's also our responsibility to be that friend for someone else. We all NEED someone to talk to, to share our shortcomings and failures with. We need another man who understands and can help us, guide us, and pray with us. But once we reach a point where we're strong enough we need to be willing to BE that person for someone else. It isn't always easy or fun. Sometimes it quite plainly just stinks. But whether we like it or not, other people will at some point as we grow be looking at us as that person that they look up to as a man strong in the Lord.

When that someone reaches out to you for that guidance and that prayer, when someone reaches out to you and shares that failure, don't laugh at them, don't poke fun, and don't gossip. Accept them, accept their problem, and let them know that you care and understand what they're going through. Offer to pray with them. Proverbs 18:24 tells us that a man that has friends must also be friendly. If we expect someone else to guide us and pray with us, we should be equally as willing to do that for another man. Don't let them share to the point of dragging you down, and don't ask them to. You don't need to know the every detail of their failure.

If you don't know how to help someone who comes to you, there are lots of things that you can do. First and foremost, the single most important thing you can do is pray with them and for them. After that, if they want or need advice that you can't offer, refer them to someone you trust who you believe can, maybe even your buddy. If you refer them to your buddy, it's often helpful to explain to them that the person you're referring them to is the person that YOU go to when you have problems. Maybe you can introduce them to your buddy and have a group lunch or something. Don't turn them away though, whatever else you do. Make sure to show them the love and respect you would want if you were in their same situation.

The Buddy System: Find a Buddy

One of the biggest problems that I see in men these days is a complete lack of people they can talk to. I'm not talking about the poker buddies, or the guys you get together with to watch the game; I'm talking about someone you can sit down with and tell them honestly what's going on in your life. James 5:16 tells us that we need to be able to call on others when you're in trouble or when you've done wrong and that we'll be forgiven. Every man I know who is having serious issues in his life and has no hope at all of fixing them has plenty of friends and co-workers, and not a single person in whom they confide. Often, the men are so out of touch with everyone that even their own family and wife are excluded from any meaningful and truthful communication.

Now, I'm not saying you need to find some guy in your church and tell him how bad your life is, and that's not what the passage is saying either. We as men need someone that we can rely on though as an example, someone who has already experienced a lot of the things we're going through, and someone who can guide us in our walk with God in times of weakness. I have a friend that I've known for about 17 years, and now that we're both saved and going to church, he is my "buddy" in this respect. When I'm having a problem or dealing with a weakness in my life, I can call him up and talk to him about it.

When I call him up, the point isn't to describe in detail the problem, as that just drags your buddy down, and pretty soon both of you are stuck in the mud. All that needs said is "Hey, I've got this problem" and just let the buddy know what the problem is. Then ask them to pray with you about it, and keep you in their prayers. When I'm dealing with an addictive problem or something that requires a little more vigilance, I can have my buddy check up on me. I don't want him to put me down, just make sure I'm sticking with whatever it is, and help pick me up if I've started to fall.

As a New Year's resolution, I would encourage each of you to find a buddy. Find someone in your church or a friend that you have enough confidence in to share your shortcomings with. If you can't find anyone, you probably aren't looking very hard; man up and go talk to somebody. If you can't find anyone else, your pastors or Sunday School teachers would likely be happy to help you out. Church deacons and board members are good choices, too. Pick someone you view as strong in the Lord, and just talk to them. This is very important in being a man of integrity. Don't fail!

The Life and Leadership of Jesus Christ

Quite obviously to cover the entire life and leadership examples of Christ would be far more than would be feasible in a single post, but we'll touch on some of the highlights. One of the primary focuses of the New Testament church throughout the Bible is teaching the Word of God. We find Jesus doing this already by the time He was just 12 years old in Luke 2:42-47. And we see this continues as an example in several other verses as well (Matthew 4:23, Matthew 7:28-29, Matthew 28:18-20). We're supposed to teach and preach boldly and with authority. We're supposed to call others to follow Christ (Luke 19:5-10, Luke 5:27-28, Mark 1:16-18).

Going hand in hand, we see that Christ's example was that of unselfishness (Romans 15:1-3), providing for those in need (Luke 11:9-10), and serving others (Mark 10:43-45, Matthew 20:26-28). These are powerful examples. Jesus wasn't just a leader, He was a servant of those who followed Him. He was also a friend to those who followed Him (John 15:15), and He loved them (John 13:34-35, John 15:13). So often as men, it's easy for us to bow down to serve others and show others love, but this was the example that Christ set for us.

One of the greatest examples that we overlook as men that was set for us by Jesus was to not try to do everything ourselves; we need to let other people help (Mark 3:13-15, Luke 10:1). Jesus didn't try to fulfill the Scriptures foretelling His arrival all alone. He chose great men to assist Him in His work. If Jesus needed other people to help bear His load, how much more do we need others to help us?

The final example that Christ set for us was that of not leaving our work half-finished. Jesus finished all that He was intended to, and did so in a complete fashion. John 18:9 tells us that Jesus lost none who was given to Him to save, and John 17:4 and John 19:30 both herald that his work here on earth was completed. His life on earth was short, but it was lived exactly as intended, and completely fulfilled God's will without fail. May that be our testimony when we die: our work was completed, and we were great leaders for God.

Justification and Reconciliation

As children, most of us at one point or another stole some insignificant thing from a store while we were out with our parents. And most of us got dragged back into the store, made to apologize begrudgingly, our parents had to pay for our stolen candy bar that we had already opened, and then if they didn't think that we were really, REALLY sorry, we got a nice thrashing for it, too.

Romans 5:8-9 tells us that the blood of Jesus has given us justification. That's the payment that our Master made for our sins. This "saves us from God's wrath". This is where our parents have gone in and paid for our stolen goods. It's what keeps us from having the store owner press charges against us for shoplifting. According to Wikipedia, "When an act is justified, a person is not criminally liable even though his act would otherwise constitute an offense."

Justification, however, is only half of the equation. Now that the shop owner knows we steal, he's going to be suspicious every time we come in. But Romans 5:10-11 we see that we can also have reconciliation with God as well. This is where our parents tell us to apologize, and we can either give a true apology, or we can be snide about it. We now have an opportunity to be reconciled, or "have cordial relations reestablished". However, this takes not only the reconciliation and justification of the parent for us, but also our sincere apology for the wrong that we've done.

It takes both parties in a relationship to be in agreement in order to have reconciliation. We can have complete justification, and still be the enemy of God. There is no way that we can make restitution for our sin, there is no self-justification. We've already seen in Romans 5:8 that God has reached out to us. Our responsibility is that of reaching out to God with an open heart, being truly sorry for the sins that we've committed, and asking for reconciliation with Him. Jesus has opened the door for us to have a great friendship by offering the opportunity for reconciliation. Will we be snide, or will we with open arms cry out for our forgiveness?

My Friend Jesus

The other week in Bible study, someone asked, “What would you say to Jesus if He sat down on a bus beside you and you recognized Him?” Now, for this exercise, there’s not really a “wrong” or “right” answer, but some answers are definitely “better” than others. I sat quietly and thought for a little bit while everyone else gave some interesting answers: “I’d ask to see the nail scars”, “I’d be speechless”, “I’d ask about...” The whole time that everyone was giving answers, I was sitting there thinking, and the only thing I could think was, “What would be of ANY significance upon actually meeting Christ? Nothing you could say would really be ‘enough’. At that point, no matter what you said or did, actually MEETING Him would be the coolest thing that could ever have happened to you in your life.” Suddenly, it occurred to me, I HAVE met Him.

I met Him at the foot of the cross where He died for my sins. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” I fell in love with Him; and He has loved me from before I was conceived. In Jeremiah 1:5, God told Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee”.

So why then, should (or would) meeting Him face-to-face be any different? I should be talking to Him every day. I should be studying the things he taught. I should be asking Him for help with things in my life. I should be doing the things that He asks me to do. If He is supposed to already be my dearest friend, why should I be speechless to see Him? Obviously it would be incredible, but there’s no reason I shouldn’t know Him well enough that I wouldn’t know what to say to Him.

And then, as I continued to think about how that Jesus should already be my dearest friend, I realized that, even now, I treat my friendship with Christ differently than I treat my friendships with others, even my very closest earthly friends. When opportunity presents itself, I brag on some of my closest friends here on earth for their redeeming qualities. I would gladly take a bullet for my closest friends (yes, getting shot would suck, and I’d hope it’d hit me in the foot and not the face, but I’d still take it anyway). How often do we not just MISS opportunities to brag about Jesus, but FAIL to do so when we feel like we should? How often do I hide Jesus in my life from the world?

When we fail to do the will of our Father, we’re letting our best friend down. We’re trampling on the confidence our best friend has placed in us to perform a task. We wouldn’t dream of not feeding our friend’s dog while he’s out of town for a week, but we’ll fail time and again to do the simple things that God asks us to do; we even fail the things that are very specifically mentioned in the Bible, not just the little things we feel in our hearts we should do.

I know that I definitely need to work hard at being a better friend to Jesus, and I challenge you to examine your friendship with Him as well. Almost all of us know the song “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”, but how many of us know “I’ll Be a Friend to Jesus”? Can we truly not just say that Jesus is our friend, but that we are His friend as well?

They tried my Lord and Master,
With no one to defend;
Within the halls of Pilate
He stood without a friend.

Chorus:
I’ll be a friend to Jesus,
My life for Him I’ll spend
I’ll be a friend to Jesus,
Until my years shall end.

The world may turn against Him,
I’ll love Him to the end,
And while on earth I’m living,
My Lord shall have a friend.

I’ll do what He may bid me;
I’ll go where He may send;
I’ll try each flying moment
To prove that I’m His friend.

To all who need a Savior,
My Friend I’ll recommend;
Because He brought salvation,
Is why I am His friend.