Wisdom Breeds Sexual Integrity

Advertising firms say it all the time: "Sex Sells". We're surrounded by it. There is no place, with the possible exception of a monastery, where you won't be in contact with an image of a scantily clad woman or some other inappropriate image to assault you. For many men, it's as difficult an addiction to break as smoking, drinking, or drugs. At the end of this article I'm going to step away from my normal routine and post some good links and resources for the men out there struggling with impure thoughts, pornography, or other sorts of sexual immorality.

Proverbs 2:16-17 tells us that the wisdom of God will save us from the adulteress, and Proverbs 2:18-19 warns us of the dangers of falling into the trap of adultery. Many men have this idea that they can look, but not touch. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, however, that just looking at a woman lustfully is adultery. Exodus 20:14 says very simply and plainly, "You shall not commit adultery."

It's an easy thing to make excuses for: "it's natural". Man is born naturally to commit sin, we have been born into a sin nature. God has redeemed us from our sin through the death of Jesus Christ that we might have freedom from the nature of sin if we will commit our lives fully into His hands and allow Him to renew our minds. To continue to willfully commit sin after accepting the salvation freely given to us is to trample on the blood of Jesus Christ, placing that sin higher in importance than God. Romans 6:1-7 tells us we have died to sin in the death of Jesus Christ and have been raised up with Him a new creature through baptism.

It is only through the working of the Holy Spirit that our hearts can be changed and that we will have a new way of thinking. For some, it's a long, slow road to recovery, while others have an instantaneous change in their heart. Every man I have known who has struggled with pornography and sexual immorality has also struggled with guilt, shame, and fear over their tendencies, and almost every man I've known has had at least some issue with it, you aren't alone. However, God doesn't intend for us to live in fear of being caught, in shame of our actions, or with guilt over our pasts. God will forgive us and free us from the chains that bind us.

If you or a friend is struggling with sexual impurity, or if you aren't, but would like to learn more and understand why most men have such a difficult time with it, here is a list of resources:

1. Pure Eyes
   • This is a book by Craig Gross (founder: XXXChurch.com) and Steven Luff; Foreword by Stephen Afterburn (author: Every Man's Battle).
   • It's a great book, and has a massive amount of great information about why men are drawn to pornography, how it affects our relationship with God, how it affects our lives, and how with God's help we can take control over it.
2. Every Man's Battle
   • This a book by Stephen Afterburn and Fred Stoker.
   • I've known of several men who have read and absolutely loved this book. It's recommended by several Christian counselors as suggested reading for men struggling with sexual impurity.
3. For Men Only
   • This book is by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and they have a full series of wonderful books for women, men, teens, parents, etc.
   • This book goes into great detail in helping men understand why women are so upset about our male tendencies, but also contains a very good chapter on sexual impurity. I would recommend that every man read this at least once.
4. XXXChurch.com
   • This is a web site founded by Craig Gross.
   • The XXXChurch offers workshops, forums, local events, and other helpful things for men with impure sexual addictions. They take a very open and forward approach to discussing and dealing with the issues.
5. Your Pastor
   • Believe it or not, this guy can probably handle knowing that you have a problem with impure sexual behavior. Chances are high that he already has a pretty good idea anyway. He'll have the time to sit down and work out the issues with you and help you to be accountable and give you spiritual guidance and prayer. For more ideas of people you can and should talk to, see: Buddy System

Pick of the Litter

Have you ever gone to pick out a new animal as either a pet or maybe a farm animal? The first thing most people do when the start to pick out a new animal is to look all the available ones over and try to gauge the potential of each one. Then we try to pick the one with the highest potential to meet our current needs.

Jesus seems to have done the same thing when He was on earth with us, calling Simon Peter to be His first disciple. Jesus seems to have been drawn to fishermen, and Peter was a great example of what it means to be a man as well as a follower of Christ.

Peter had a blind faith like few people I have ever met. When Jesus came walking on the Sea of Galilee, Peter was the only disciple to ask if he could join in the water-walking (Matthew 14:25-31). Peter was also still a man, and shortly after joining Jesus on the water began to sink in doubt.

Peter also directly denied knowing Christ (Mark 14:66-72). However, as soon as he realized his mistake, he was sorrowful and wept. After His resurrection, Jesus reassured Peter of His love in a parallel to his betrayal, by asking him if he loved Him three times, and telling him again to follow Him (John 21:15-19).

After having betrayed Jesus, he subsequently renewed his faith in Him. Then, Peter soon preached the first Spirit-filled sermon on the day of Pentecost to the crowd gathering to see what the commotion was (Acts 2:14-41). Acts 2:41 says "Those who accepted his message", meaning Peter's message, "were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day." Peter's message led to the salvation of about 3,000 people in a single day!

What an amazing testimony Peter had. Certainly, Peter had his moments of failure, and some of them quite bad, but he always repented, and came back even stronger than before. As men we will sometimes fail; we sill stumble and fall, but we need to get back up and try again. Jesus will gladly restore our faith and make us even stronger than we once were if only we'll let Him.

Jesus saw the potential in Peter for a great man, and He wasn't disappointed. Sure, as God, Jesus knew that Peter would betray Him. As God, Jesus knew Peter would have doubts and fears. He knew that Peter was a man, and that Peter would make the same mistakes that we all make as men. Jesus still picked Peter first. How great it is that God looks at our potential for serving Him and chooses us, rather than looking at our potential for failing Him.

Stephen: The Love of God, Loved by Godly Men

In Acts 6:5-8 we are introduced to Stephen. Stephen was chosen as one of the first leaders of the church by the apostles. He was "full of faith and the Holy Spirit." We even see that the people who persecuted him saw his face was "like the face of an angel" in Acts 6:15. Stephen, though it was apparent even to those unbelievers, was killed for his faith, becoming the first recorded Christian to be martyred. We can read the entire account of his persecution and death in Acts 7.

The verses that I'd like to point out, however, are the verses at the very last of Stephen's life, Acts 7:59-60. In these verses, we see the love of Christ spilling out of Stephen much in the same manner as Christ's love as he died for our sins in Luke 23:34 and Luke 23:46. Stephen showed a perfect example of Christ's love for us as he showed Christ's love to those who were stoning him.

We follow the end of Stephen's story into Acts 8:2, where we find that "Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him." These men knew the character of Stephen, Godly men, and they mourned deeply for him. Will Godly men mourn deeply for us when we die? Will they say we were "full of faith and the Holy Spirit"? What kind of people will mourn our passing? I pray that the world because of conviction will be glad to hasten my departure, but that Godly men will mourn when I die.