Wisdom Breeds Sexual Integrity

Advertising firms say it all the time: "Sex Sells". We're surrounded by it. There is no place, with the possible exception of a monastery, where you won't be in contact with an image of a scantily clad woman or some other inappropriate image to assault you. For many men, it's as difficult an addiction to break as smoking, drinking, or drugs. At the end of this article I'm going to step away from my normal routine and post some good links and resources for the men out there struggling with impure thoughts, pornography, or other sorts of sexual immorality.

Proverbs 2:16-17 tells us that the wisdom of God will save us from the adulteress, and Proverbs 2:18-19 warns us of the dangers of falling into the trap of adultery. Many men have this idea that they can look, but not touch. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, however, that just looking at a woman lustfully is adultery. Exodus 20:14 says very simply and plainly, "You shall not commit adultery."

It's an easy thing to make excuses for: "it's natural". Man is born naturally to commit sin, we have been born into a sin nature. God has redeemed us from our sin through the death of Jesus Christ that we might have freedom from the nature of sin if we will commit our lives fully into His hands and allow Him to renew our minds. To continue to willfully commit sin after accepting the salvation freely given to us is to trample on the blood of Jesus Christ, placing that sin higher in importance than God. Romans 6:1-7 tells us we have died to sin in the death of Jesus Christ and have been raised up with Him a new creature through baptism.

It is only through the working of the Holy Spirit that our hearts can be changed and that we will have a new way of thinking. For some, it's a long, slow road to recovery, while others have an instantaneous change in their heart. Every man I have known who has struggled with pornography and sexual immorality has also struggled with guilt, shame, and fear over their tendencies, and almost every man I've known has had at least some issue with it, you aren't alone. However, God doesn't intend for us to live in fear of being caught, in shame of our actions, or with guilt over our pasts. God will forgive us and free us from the chains that bind us.

If you or a friend is struggling with sexual impurity, or if you aren't, but would like to learn more and understand why most men have such a difficult time with it, here is a list of resources:

1. Pure Eyes
   • This is a book by Craig Gross (founder: XXXChurch.com) and Steven Luff; Foreword by Stephen Afterburn (author: Every Man's Battle).
   • It's a great book, and has a massive amount of great information about why men are drawn to pornography, how it affects our relationship with God, how it affects our lives, and how with God's help we can take control over it.
2. Every Man's Battle
   • This a book by Stephen Afterburn and Fred Stoker.
   • I've known of several men who have read and absolutely loved this book. It's recommended by several Christian counselors as suggested reading for men struggling with sexual impurity.
3. For Men Only
   • This book is by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and they have a full series of wonderful books for women, men, teens, parents, etc.
   • This book goes into great detail in helping men understand why women are so upset about our male tendencies, but also contains a very good chapter on sexual impurity. I would recommend that every man read this at least once.
4. XXXChurch.com
   • This is a web site founded by Craig Gross.
   • The XXXChurch offers workshops, forums, local events, and other helpful things for men with impure sexual addictions. They take a very open and forward approach to discussing and dealing with the issues.
5. Your Pastor
   • Believe it or not, this guy can probably handle knowing that you have a problem with impure sexual behavior. Chances are high that he already has a pretty good idea anyway. He'll have the time to sit down and work out the issues with you and help you to be accountable and give you spiritual guidance and prayer. For more ideas of people you can and should talk to, see: Buddy System

"Floating" Fish

I've been working on setting up a new aquarium. The interesting thing about adding fish to an aquarium is the means by which you normally add them so that they don't die. You usually get your fish in plastic bags from the fish store, and you first dump off about a quarter of the pet store water, and add that much of your tank water back to the bag. Then you reseal the bag, and drop it in the water. Every 10 minutes you add another cup of your water to the bag for 30 minutes. Then you take the fish out of the bags and put them in the aquarium.

This process is call acclimation; the fish become acclimated to your water. It's how fish get accustomed to the different chemicals in your water that wasn't in the pet store water. In this process, I recognize a pattern that the devil often uses in our lives. Often, we're stuck with having to "just deal" with a little bit of ungodliness. Then a little bit later, after we've gotten used to that, we go for some more. Next thing you know, we're swimming free in the water that would have killed us just a short time ago.

Romans 12:2 says that we shouldn't conform to the world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We don't have to just let someone watch dirty movies while we're around, or gossip to us, or tell us dirty jokes. Those are the patterns of the world, "Oh, that guy just always tells dirty jokes and I just shrug it off and go on."

Our minds are supposed to be being renewed, we shouldn't be thinking like that any more, and we don't have to listen, watch, or participate in those things just because we're not in our own home. We shouldn't participate in anything that we wouldn't participate in at church. Let's not allow ourselves to be made into the pattern of the world, let's seek God in everything we do, so that we will be found as faithful servants.

Satan vs. Job round 2 (Part 6)

Job 2:7-8
I cannot imagine the torture this must have been. The Hebrew word for the sores is shĕchiyn. It is the same word used for the boils that were sent as a plague on Egypt. I've had a boil before, but I cannot imagine having them from head to toe. He was broken. He lost everything. With all of this happening, the worst was still to come.

Job 2:9-10
Satan must have felt that this would be the key. Everything else, and Job's wife was done. "Curse God and die" are not the words of a compassionate loving wife. These are the only words of Job's wife recorded in the Bible. With no one left to help him, at this point, the loneliness must have been unbearable. Pain, humiliation, and loss can be suffered by most people, but that feeling of separation from everyone and everything is one of the scariest feelings known to man. I truly believe that this is why the Bible describes Hell as a place of eternal separation from God. What could be worse? Here we see Job getting a small taste of that.

Job 2:11-13
Sympathy of friends can really be a good thing. Sometimes a simple vote of confidence from a friend can make a huge difference. These three started with good intentions. They obviously met first and surely they meant well for the Bible says they were setting out to comfort him. Yet what can it do to you when your three friends pull up on their camels, start crying, tear their clothes, sprinkle dust on their heads, and can't seem to come up with one word of sympathy. It's like they've seen his death certificate already. In their mind Job is already done.

Job still hasn't faltered. Up until now he's still put his faith solidly in his maker. "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" These words echo a faith so mighty that it wasn't toppled. For the one piece that Satan missed is that faith this mighty cannot live in the flesh. It lives in the soul. Job's soul belonged to God, so his faith rested in God. No matter what Satan did to Job's flesh, he couldn't steal his soul.

Integrity in the face of Persecution (Part 4)

Continuing with our talk about Job. So far he's lost all his possessions. His children were killed. He doesn't have much left, but as we'll see here, Satan is intent on taking that as well.

1 On another day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him.
2 And the Lord said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the Lord, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."
3 Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason."

Integrity is something that should be important to all men (and women). The definition of Integrity (from the free online dictionary) is adherence to moral principles. There couldn't be a better way for God to describe Job. The idea of integrity being something that has to be maintained not simply owned, leaves me with the impression that it's an action. Too often I find myself thinking of integrity as a state, but rather it is a constant action to maintain your integrity. There's a definite lesson here that Job, while afflicted, maintained his integrity in the face of persecution. How often have you been persecuted for your faith. Did you maintain your integrity like Job?