The Buddy System: Healthy Listening

If someone comes up to you and suddenly begins telling you the story of how they've fallen into sin, what do you do? The first thing you need to do is examine what you can do. Luke 6:39 says that if the blind lead the blind, they'll both soon end up in the ditch. If you're struggling with the same thing that this person is confiding in you that they are struggling with, you very likely aren't qualified to help them. Mutually agree to pray for each other, and move on. An alcoholic should not hang out in bars or a drug addict with users. We are faced enough by our demons daily that we do not need the additional weight of another's confession to drag us further into the pit of our own despair. Rather, we should agree to pray for that person and then encourage them to seek another confidant who is able to guide and help them.

If we are qualified to guide this person seeking our confidence, we need to pay very close attention to the words of Romans 15:1-2, 7. Remember that Christ accepted us when we were not only addicted to the works of the flesh, but He accepted us before we even knew who He was. Romans 5:8 points out that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Accept that this person is openly acknowledging their need to confess their shortcomings to someone and receive guidance and prayer as James 5:16 instructs us all to do.

Don't belittle or mock the ones that would come to you for guidance and prayer. Don't put them down or try to make them feel inferior for their faults. This attitude is prideful and boastful, and is not in the spirit of Christ. Proverbs 16:18 warns us of our own destruction when we take an attitude of pride. 1 John 4:7-21 is the most amazing example of how we should treat our fellow man and how we should judge him. 1 John 4:15 says that if a man confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him. Knowing that God lives in the one who comes to us for guidance, how will we treat them?

Since God lives in us, and He lives in the one who has come to us for guidance, we know that God is already present in our conversation. He is watching us through the windows of our soul. How will we show His love? How will we keep His commandments? Matthew 18:18-20 says that if two bind anything on earth it will be bound by God, and if two release something on earth it is released by God.

Therefore, we ought to primarily pray together that the thing that troubles the one coming to us for guidance might be resolved. Whether that thing is an addiction needing bound, or a freedom needing loosed, if we agree on that thing, it will be done. We should search the Scriptures together in prayer, learning what God has to say about our troubles. We should give counsel in the spirit of 2 Timothy 2:15-16, 19, 23-26. Thank God that He guides us as is shown in Ephesians 6:18-20 to know what to say and when we need to say it.