The Buddy System: Be a Buddy

When we look at James 5:16, we have to look at the inverse implication of the verse as well. Obviously, in a church of even 100 people, the pastor will not be able to be everyone's "buddy". I haven't a doubt in my mind that this concept has occurred to him, and he will try to the bitter end to do so, but it isn't physically or emotionally possible. With just 100 people, a single person would have an average of 3 people call him every day with their problems. That's not including time to prepare sermons, visit the sick, and all the other things that the pastor does that you don't even realize he does.

So, it's also our responsibility to be that friend for someone else. We all NEED someone to talk to, to share our shortcomings and failures with. We need another man who understands and can help us, guide us, and pray with us. But once we reach a point where we're strong enough we need to be willing to BE that person for someone else. It isn't always easy or fun. Sometimes it quite plainly just stinks. But whether we like it or not, other people will at some point as we grow be looking at us as that person that they look up to as a man strong in the Lord.

When that someone reaches out to you for that guidance and that prayer, when someone reaches out to you and shares that failure, don't laugh at them, don't poke fun, and don't gossip. Accept them, accept their problem, and let them know that you care and understand what they're going through. Offer to pray with them. Proverbs 18:24 tells us that a man that has friends must also be friendly. If we expect someone else to guide us and pray with us, we should be equally as willing to do that for another man. Don't let them share to the point of dragging you down, and don't ask them to. You don't need to know the every detail of their failure.

If you don't know how to help someone who comes to you, there are lots of things that you can do. First and foremost, the single most important thing you can do is pray with them and for them. After that, if they want or need advice that you can't offer, refer them to someone you trust who you believe can, maybe even your buddy. If you refer them to your buddy, it's often helpful to explain to them that the person you're referring them to is the person that YOU go to when you have problems. Maybe you can introduce them to your buddy and have a group lunch or something. Don't turn them away though, whatever else you do. Make sure to show them the love and respect you would want if you were in their same situation.