The Buddy System: Find a Buddy

One of the biggest problems that I see in men these days is a complete lack of people they can talk to. I'm not talking about the poker buddies, or the guys you get together with to watch the game; I'm talking about someone you can sit down with and tell them honestly what's going on in your life. James 5:16 tells us that we need to be able to call on others when you're in trouble or when you've done wrong and that we'll be forgiven. Every man I know who is having serious issues in his life and has no hope at all of fixing them has plenty of friends and co-workers, and not a single person in whom they confide. Often, the men are so out of touch with everyone that even their own family and wife are excluded from any meaningful and truthful communication.

Now, I'm not saying you need to find some guy in your church and tell him how bad your life is, and that's not what the passage is saying either. We as men need someone that we can rely on though as an example, someone who has already experienced a lot of the things we're going through, and someone who can guide us in our walk with God in times of weakness. I have a friend that I've known for about 17 years, and now that we're both saved and going to church, he is my "buddy" in this respect. When I'm having a problem or dealing with a weakness in my life, I can call him up and talk to him about it.

When I call him up, the point isn't to describe in detail the problem, as that just drags your buddy down, and pretty soon both of you are stuck in the mud. All that needs said is "Hey, I've got this problem" and just let the buddy know what the problem is. Then ask them to pray with you about it, and keep you in their prayers. When I'm dealing with an addictive problem or something that requires a little more vigilance, I can have my buddy check up on me. I don't want him to put me down, just make sure I'm sticking with whatever it is, and help pick me up if I've started to fall.

As a New Year's resolution, I would encourage each of you to find a buddy. Find someone in your church or a friend that you have enough confidence in to share your shortcomings with. If you can't find anyone, you probably aren't looking very hard; man up and go talk to somebody. If you can't find anyone else, your pastors or Sunday School teachers would likely be happy to help you out. Church deacons and board members are good choices, too. Pick someone you view as strong in the Lord, and just talk to them. This is very important in being a man of integrity. Don't fail!