Proverbs 2:16-17 tells us that the wisdom of God will save us from the adulteress, and Proverbs 2:18-19 warns us of the dangers of falling into the trap of adultery. Many men have this idea that they can look, but not touch. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, however, that just looking at a woman lustfully is adultery. Exodus 20:14 says very simply and plainly, "You shall not commit adultery."
It's an easy thing to make excuses for: "it's natural". Man is born naturally to commit sin, we have been born into a sin nature. God has redeemed us from our sin through the death of Jesus Christ that we might have freedom from the nature of sin if we will commit our lives fully into His hands and allow Him to renew our minds. To continue to willfully commit sin after accepting the salvation freely given to us is to trample on the blood of Jesus Christ, placing that sin higher in importance than God. Romans 6:1-7 tells us we have died to sin in the death of Jesus Christ and have been raised up with Him a new creature through baptism.
It is only through the working of the Holy Spirit that our hearts can be changed and that we will have a new way of thinking. For some, it's a long, slow road to recovery, while others have an instantaneous change in their heart. Every man I have known who has struggled with pornography and sexual immorality has also struggled with guilt, shame, and fear over their tendencies, and almost every man I've known has had at least some issue with it, you aren't alone. However, God doesn't intend for us to live in fear of being caught, in shame of our actions, or with guilt over our pasts. God will forgive us and free us from the chains that bind us.
If you or a friend is struggling with sexual impurity, or if you aren't, but would like to learn more and understand why most men have such a difficult time with it, here is a list of resources:
- Pure Eyes
- This is a book by Craig Gross (founder: XXXChurch.com) and Steven Luff; Foreword by Stephen Afterburn (author: Every Man's Battle).
- It's a great book, and has a massive amount of great information about why men are drawn to pornography, how it affects our relationship with God, how it affects our lives, and how with God's help we can take control over it.
- Every Man's Battle
- This a book by Stephen Afterburn and Fred Stoker.
- I've known of several men who have read and absolutely loved this book. It's recommended by several Christian counselors as suggested reading for men struggling with sexual impurity.
- For Men Only
- This book is by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and they have a full series of wonderful books for women, men, teens, parents, etc.
- This book goes into great detail in helping men understand why women are so upset about our male tendencies, but also contains a very good chapter on sexual impurity. I would recommend that every man read this at least once.
- XXXChurch.com
- This is a web site founded by Craig Gross.
- The XXXChurch offers workshops, forums, local events, and other helpful things for men with impure sexual addictions. They take a very open and forward approach to discussing and dealing with the issues.
- Your Pastor
- Believe it or not, this guy can probably handle knowing that you have a problem with impure sexual behavior. Chances are high that he already has a pretty good idea anyway. He'll have the time to sit down and work out the issues with you and help you to be accountable and give you spiritual guidance and prayer. For more ideas of people you can and should talk to, see: Buddy System
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